Blog to God

Lord thank You so very much for comming through again and doing more miracles. I do love You Lord and do believe that You are the One and thatlike I trusted You to provide there I need to trust You in everything but I dont know how much longer I can wait. It does not get easier with time, it gets way harder.

Please forgive me for doing that and thinking that, it is not easy and it is not what I wont but then again maybe it is but I dont want to do wrong so is it really what I want. I dont know anymore, I feel like I am loosing it. That was a real kick in the face yesterday, It hurt so much Lord. Maybe it is what I need to hear but what do I do about it. This is like a nightmare that I just need to wake up from. I keep getting kicked and knocked down and keep going back. I need to move on but dont want to. I love them so much and just want to be with them but if they dont feel the same way then I need to get over it and move on but I dont wantt o. I know that it could all be ok. I really know with the way I am now it could be fine, great and wonderful. There would still be some problems but it would still be great. Why cant they see that. Lord I know that You can do anything and that YOu are in control of everything, I just cant get why he most important thing is something You are not doing anything about. It is not really fair to say that as I believe that You do have a plan and that what is happening is part of Your plan but it hurts so much and I dont see how You can want me to hurt like this or any of us to hurt like this.

Lord please guide me and show me the way You want me to go, the path You want me to take. Lord please put me back in their lives like we should be. Thank You Lord. Amen

Thank You for what You did today and yesterday. It was just what I needed, of course I dont think it is nearly what I need but You know better and I dont want to be ungrateful.
This afternoon was a big kick in the face. I just wish I knew why. I have my suspicions but it is more hope that suspicion but who knows and it still hurts like anything and I dont want to carry on like this. If it was not for those 2 I would not mind so much. I am also so lonely right now and dont want to be but dont want that again but at the same time I do. I really dont know what I want anymore. Please help me know what You want then it wont matter. I ask in Jesus name, Amen

Thank You that yesterday was pretty uneventful and went pretty well. Lord I please ask that this morning You speak through me to her because everytime I try I seem to make things worse but it cant go on the way it is. None of use can carry on like this and none of us want to but I need to know what is going on and I cant be blamed any more especially for the current situation. Lord I just dont know what to do anymore and really need Your help in getiing through it. Please also let this sale go through as that is also something that is really needed. Lord I want to do better but cant without Your help and guidance. Please show me what You want me to do. Thanks YOu Lord Amen

WOW, WOW and WOW again although I should not be suprised that You have performed yet another miricle in my life. I wish I could understand You better or really know how to hear You better to know what it is You want me to do. I really want to serve You but am not sure what You want me to do. Lord I really dont know how people could not believe in You. Things might be going badly so they think that a loving God would not let that happen to them but just looking at the world, our bodies, how everything fits together so perfectly (until man comes along to mess it up) and there is no way that it could all have happenned by chance.

Thank You again Lord Amen

Thank You for giving me the opportunity to improve a bit. Thank You for letting me help yeterday and for seeing them without all the fighting. Lord please forgive me for being short tempered with so many people, I should not be and there is no excuse for it so I am sorry and please give me the patience and the knowledge not to. Lord please tell me or show me if this travel business is what I should be doing. I dont want them to move unless we all move to a different country but unless we can get some money to fix the place up, let them study, get a car then there seems to be no choice. I leave it in Your hands and pray in Jesus name that You guide me to do the right thing. Thank You and Amen.

Just a quickie to say thank You for the new opportunities that you have put my way and just for everything in general.

What can I say other than yet again I am sorry for not trusting You and not being patient. I should have known that You would come through and provide a miricle like You always do. I was less worried than before but as time got on and there was more and more pressure on me I worried more which I should not. It is still not all I think I need but in Your wisdom, I know that I have to trust You knowledge in that You know just what I need better than I. I am still not out of the woods yet but keeping my head above the water is enough for me at the moment. Thank You so much for providing. I love You. Amen

I dont want to question You as I know You have everything under control but Lord why did they not pay me. It just makes things so much more difficult to sort out and pushes them even further away. You have performed so many miricles for me when I really needed them and this was another I really needed but in Your wisdom You saw fit not to answer my prayers in the way I thought they would be. Lord I am so confused and I really dont know what to do. I need Your guidance and clear telling me what I should do. I dont want to give up but I dont know how much longer I can go on like this for. It is really hard and I am so tired of battling all the time. I would really just like some peace for all of us. I have so many ideas that I try but they all seem to fail. If it is because they are not what You want me to do then please tell me what to do. This worry and stress all the time is getting to much for me. I know that nothing will succeed without Your help and blessing so Lord I ask yet again that You help me with Study Safari and make it a success. I dont care if it does not make a fortune, just enough to get through without the worry would be fine. I try so hard and really work like mad but everything seems to always fail. Everything around me is breaking down and I am so tired of it. I am tired of the destruction that seems to follow me. Lord I would be quite happy right now if You were to call me to be with You but I cant even do that as it would cause even more hardships the way things are at the moment.

Lord I ask in Jesus name that You please help me to get things right in our lives and to help me get rid of this destruction that seems to follow me around. Thank You Lord Amen

Thanks you for a relatively great weekend. We really dont need that problem now but it must have happenned for a reason. I would like to think that it was so I could stay there even though it was uneventful which was good anyway. It was a start hopefully. Now we just need to get the money to pay for the repairs. Lord there is so much I would like and that I think they deserve but there must be a reason that we done have it. I have alwasy worked hard, long hours (missed a few really good opportunities) but never seemed to get anywhere. You know what I would like so Lord I am asking you if it is in your plans, please let us have more than this. I know you have performed countless miricles for me and I dont appreciate it enought and done deserve any more but I need to believe that You want more for us than this. I trust and love You and thank You in Jesus name. Amen

To tell You the truth I have so much to say but dont know what to say so I will just say thank YOu and Pray in Jesus name that You help me get Study Safari up and running and sucessfull as soon as possible so my beautiful girl can study and not sit around and they can all stay where they are. Lord that is truly something I want and Pray that it is what You also want. I know I cant make a sucess of this without You and really pray that it is in Your plan for us. In Jesus name I ask this, thank YOu Amen.